Introducing Clusterfuck!

Are you ready to score big in Clusterfuck? This adult party game is all about earning those precious three points. Gather your friends, because this game is designed for 4-8 players.

Now, let’s talk about the cards. The Clusterfuck deck is what you’ll need for this game. Make sure you have it handy!

How to Play

The objective of Clusterfuck is simple: earn those three points! But how do you do it?

Clusterfuck is divided into two phases: passing notes and hooking up. In the passing notes phase, you’ll be sharing secret messages with other players. This will set the stage for some wild hook-ups later on.

Once the hook-up phase begins, it’s time for the real action. You’ll be trying to make successful hook-ups, and that’s where the points come in. Match up with other players and earn those precious points. And if you manage to pull off a successful threesome, well, that’s an instant win!

Setting Up the Game

When it comes to playing the game, it’s best to have a group of 4-8 people sitting in a circle. One person will be the dealer, responsible for taking out the chlamydia and SCORE! cards, mixing up the deck, and giving each player 4 cards.

HOW TO PASS THE CARDS

This is the first part of the game. The player who had the most recent orgasm starts the passing. They choose a card from their hand and pass it to another player, face-down. Then, each player takes turns doing the same thing, going clockwise.

The cards you receive go into your hand, and it’s important to keep them a secret. No talking is allowed during this phase, before or after. However, you can communicate with other players through gestures.

Instead of handing out cards, we have a more energetic way to start the next round. All you have to do is slam your hand (cards) onto the table and exclaim, “I’m ready!” Then, before we move on, everyone has the chance to pass one more note.

THE HOOKING UP

Once all the notes have been passed, it’s time for the hooking up phase. Here’s how it works: everyone closes their eyes and points to the person they want to hook up with. If two players point only to each other, they form a monogamous couple. They each earn 1 point and receive a special SCORE! card. It’s a cute little trophy.

If three players point to each other, it’s a wild threesome! Each player gets three points if all three players point to each other with both hands. And that’s when the game comes to an end.

When one player has three SCORE! cards, the game comes to an end. At that point, all players throw their cards back into the mix and they are shuffled and handed out once more.

Breaking Up Threesomes

Threesomes need to be kept under wraps. If you suspect that a threesome is forming, you have the power to bust it and prevent it from happening.

When everyone’s eyes are shut, discreetly give the middle finger to the player you suspect is involved in a threesome. If you successfully bust the threesome in this way, you’ll receive two SCORE! cards, while the failed threesome participants won’t earn anything.

Optional Rule: Chlamydia

In games with six or more players, an extra chlamydia card is included in the deck and dealt out. If a player receives this card, they have the option to pass it along.

When you’re in the early stages of the game, even if you have a chlamydia card, you can still earn points by hooking up. However, your partners won’t earn any points in this situation.

Once the game is over, if you had chlamydia, you have to announce it to the group. You don’t get rid of the chlamydia card, but in the next game, you’ll only be dealt three cards.

Just a quick note: If you think you might have chlamydia, it’s important to seek medical attention. You can find more information about chlamydia here.

OGLING: OPTIONAL RULE

If you’re a watcher, during the hookup phase, you can choose to oogle instead of hooking up. To do this, when everyone closes their eyes, make your hands into binoculars around your closed eyes and look towards the players you think might be earning points. If you’re successful, you’ll earn a SCORE! card.